Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
