Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
