She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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