all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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