i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
