Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Randomize
