I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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