I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
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