Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
My vagina is very pro this idea
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