3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
