im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
