Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
