I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
