Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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