I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
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She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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