I must be too annoying 4 u.
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Randomize
