I will die if light touches me.
Its about making memories worth repressing
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Randomize
