I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
