the day after is always just damage control
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
