Tap Here to view the Mobile Optimized TFLN
marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Randomize
Follow @tfln