YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea