wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Randomize
