Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(313): View more from Michigan

marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!

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(313): marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte! http://tfl.nu/25lr

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(214): View more from Texas

Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.

(214): View more from Texas

If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"

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(214): Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window. (214): If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day" http://tfl.nu/2bzp

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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...

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(484): Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age... http://tfl.nu/y336

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...

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(610): I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events... http://tfl.nu/y2xk

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(925): View more from California

Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?

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(925): Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay? http://tfl.nu/89t2

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(479): View more from Arkansas

By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.

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(479): By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo. http://tfl.nu/nmdz

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(315): View more from New York

Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.

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(315): Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run. http://tfl.nu/6sa5

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(307): View more from Wyoming

Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!

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(307): Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!! http://tfl.nu/96d4

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(513): View more from Ohio

Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.

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(513): Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight. http://tfl.nu/vjdx

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(808): View more from Hawaii

Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.

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(808): Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry. http://tfl.nu/7pno

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(408): View more from California

She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety

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(408): She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety http://tfl.nu/edsh

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(651): View more from Minnesota

You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.

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(651): You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with. http://tfl.nu/zaia

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(918): View more from Oklahoma

Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.

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(918): Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE. http://tfl.nu/pg7d

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(908): View more from New Jersey

Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.

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(908): Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad. http://tfl.nu/akuu

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right

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(610): I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right http://tfl.nu/fw6i

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