I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
he wants to bone in the snuggie
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
These 23 People Had Sex With Someone From Completely Different Cultures
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
25 Medical Facts That Need To Be Common Knowledge
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Randomize
