Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him