Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  She'll never know what hit her

  (1-703): View more from Virginia

  I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (703): She'll never know what hit her (1-703): I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact. http://tfl.nu/fbuf
  Replies (2) Good night (1722) Bad night (576)
• Favorite

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  accomplished twins. life is a go

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (651): accomplished twins. life is a go http://tfl.nu/t3ng
  Replies (4) Good night (3954) Bad night (439)
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (908): i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less http://tfl.nu/aust
  Replies (35) Good night (6344) Bad night (494)
• Favorite

  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (414): filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach. http://tfl.nu/edt0
  Replies (16) Good night (820) Bad night (3928)
• Favorite

  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (405): That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi. http://tfl.nu/2rin
  Replies (15) Good night (972) Bad night (3759)
• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  A simple 'no' would have sufficed

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (614): The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls. (610): A simple 'no' would have sufficed http://tfl.nu/eyzn
  Replies (14) Good night (1821) Bad night (5515)
• Favorite

  (208): View more from Idaho

  this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (208): this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin" http://tfl.nu/odvv
  Replies (16) Good night (7702) Bad night (961)
• Favorite

  (408): View more from California

  You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (408): You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now http://tfl.nu/y80h
  Replies (15) Good night (3988) Bad night (1036)
• Favorite

  (408): View more from California

  i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (408): i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person. http://tfl.nu/pbus
  Replies (18) Good night (5046) Bad night (927)
• Favorite

  (913): View more from Kansas

  I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (913): I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll. http://tfl.nu/i4my
  Replies (0) Good night (901) Bad night (455)
• Favorite

  (706): View more from Georgia

  Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (706): Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time. http://tfl.nu/63oo
  Replies (3) Good night (949) Bad night (212)
• Favorite

  (905): View more from Ontario

  Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (905): Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk. http://tfl.nu/f6av
  Replies (3) Good night (672) Bad night (270)
• Favorite

  (727): View more from Florida

  She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (727): She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings" http://tfl.nu/mihx
  Replies (1) Good night (457) Bad night (221)
• Favorite

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (781): i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops. http://tfl.nu/wb46
  Replies (1) Good night (438) Bad night (167)
• Favorite

  (+61): View more from Australia

  im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+61): im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter http://tfl.nu/2kon
  Replies (1) Good night (449) Bad night (150)

Randomize