my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
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He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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