you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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