Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize