Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Randomize
