So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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