dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Randomize
