So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
