I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
