I think i peed on brittanys purse
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
