whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
