I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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