Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
