I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
