if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Randomize
