hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize