I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
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