dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
