i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
