If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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