Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Randomize
