I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
i am craving dick and cupcakes
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