Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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