You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
