So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
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