Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Randomize
