sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize
