just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
My vagina is officially offended.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
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