I wish I could teleport
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
