Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
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