I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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