thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
My vagina is very pro this idea
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
