is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
