In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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