Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
