are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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