No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Randomize
