There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
