happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
His nipple licking is glorious
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
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