i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
