a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
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