Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize
