Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Randomize
