Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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