wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
