Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
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