thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
3 2 1 whiskey
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
