Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
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